Book Launching: YOU BLEED

September 20, 2017
By George Daniel Anos

My Message yesterday.

Good afternoon everyone. I would like to thank all you for being here today, to take part in the celebration of what will be one of the finest days of my life, third only from the days I first beheld my daughter and then my son.

I have read somewhere that “It is wisdom to know that a man’s life experience is ultimately his sole possession. A measure of his worth as a human being and the ticket he carries with him to eternity.” I began with these words because the book I wrote is in a huge measure─ borne of my personal experiences.

This book is more than pieces of paper where words and artworks are printed then cut and glued before finally bound together. Page 154 is me pleading for help on what I thought will be my final moments, when I raged against the crushing thought that at a young age of 22, my journey in this world will ultimately be cut short. Page 157 on the other hand was when I had the privilege of witnessing the most spectacular dawn of my life, for it bore with it the realization that I still breathe.

Page 159 was a proud moment when by my own example and the friendship I gave, I raised in the eyes of a foreign colleague the character of the Filipino folk. Meanwhile, page 204 is the conclusion of a sudden inspiration that came out of the blue, that many of my friends thought was a gem and might have even captivated audiences in social media. It has earned me the friendship of the most brilliant writers and scholars of our present era, an era that for me and countless others is when the night skies above our nation finally shines brighter than ever. Page 213 is my tribute to my brothers and sisters who went before their time, woefully gone too soon. Page 99 is when I mused deeply on how fickle life is, akin to the oceans and the seas. And then there is page 211, the one that bear the words I want you to read should my time come.

Of my poems, there are a collection that came forth not only from my sorrows, but also from what I have empathized from listening to other people who are dear to my heart, those who have also been to the purgatorial pits of emotional sufferings. Some are borne from my longings, for a life I could have lived had the circumstances been different and all I’ve been through did not come to pass the way they did. These were the imaginary outcomes that at some points flitted in and out of my head, where inside they played tranquil and peaceful. Some of what I wrote are on the other hand, from my joys, and some, from my epiphanies. Collectively they make up the depth and breadth of what I want to share with the world. All of these is “You Bleed.”

An aspect of this book I cannot dare forget to state is its coming into being. It is an epic by itself, for I did not realize until that moment when I sounded the clarion call and held my breath, how many would answer. You know yourselves, all those who are here and those who maybe far but very much present in spirit, and I say with reverence and benediction: should there be an expression or phrase stronger and more powerful, in any known language, for the words “THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART,” that is what you would be hearing now.

Just a while ago I watched Jim Carrey’s mini documentary, of when he battled loneliness and depression by painting with brilliant colors, this amidst a really gloomy New York winter. The comic genius said: “The whole point of creative expression is to hold a mirror to the world.” He had it spot on, for it is not only with paints of colors on canvasses can we express and allow others to see the profound, there are also the dances and the songs. And then of course, there is writing. For when we paint our stories or desires to life with words, other people can derive comfort from these, it gives them an awareness that they are not alone, that what they have gone or perhaps presently going through, someone has also passed. This brings the powerful message that the person on the other end of the mirror survived and lived to tell his or her tale, perhaps by way of speaking what he or she has written, what we call now as spoken words, or by allowing others to read a fascinating write-up, a life changing novel, an entrancing poem. From these, there is truth that our pain, the wisdom we gained from our travails and mistakes, our streaks of philosophical insights─ these things and more are important to other people. We may never know it but by sharing these, we might possibly be extending a lifeline to people who are in a state of hopelessness, or give a boost of hope to the ones trapped in cocoons of unimaginable anguish. These dear folks are the powers held by experiences wrought into words, reasons why I myself heard loud and clear then answered the muse’s beckoning with the words: “I WILL.”

I wrote in my prologue: “Writing for me has been a succor, an escape and a defense mechanism, all rolled into one.” I cannot express enough how true these words were, to bridge that across. Oh No, not unless you yourselves has seen the world through my eyes and lived this life with these heartbeats. Not until you have undergone the emblematic moments larger than the hints I have given of its entire narrative. Truly, writing─ which is foremost amongst my many passions has been my greatest shield and armor. It has tethered me to sanity and the belief that life, however full of tribulations, is still beautiful. Also, it has given me a purpose that for a long time masqueraded itself as a skulking restlessness, but that which I realized not so long ago when I finally decided, that it had after all been an ultimate dream. With resolve did I pursue it, all the while battling doubts and trepidation. Friends and loved ones, here it is now. I hope and pray that after your reading, you will deem it worthy, that its collective resonance has been, as best as possible, been articulately and poetically conveyed. May it not fall short of your approbations and esteem.

So that it may be held and read, the road of this book’s coming into reality has been both long and difficult. Your belief and support carried me through, many were already onboard since day one and many more followed afterwards. May that support continue now, this time in the form of prayers, that should I be able to finally release it in ebook which is my ultimate goal, that it become a simple success. I would gladly settle for that, not “smashing” or “mind-blowing,” but a simple success in a manner that those who would read it would be thankful they did. That is enough for me. The rest is in the hands of The Divine.

Anyway, at this point allow me to give special mentions of thanks.
First of all is to One up there. Thank you for rewarding my faith, my unyielding belief, and my heartfelt prayers. If not for You, this would not have been possible. Truly, all glory belongs to You!

To my nematodes, the hookworms and whipworms that inhabit my body, my 24/7 health services providers- guys if you’re hearing this, I would have you know that if not for ya’ll, that terrible brain fog would have still been around and I could never have gone to proceed on this path. Enjoy your meals, that’s the least I could give ya’ll considering what you have done for me! (Ok I know that sounded weird but this is my moment and I would like to share it with my helminths.)

And then there is Melanie, the mother of my children, those kids over there. Salamat Lani, their presence made this event complete for they are the two most important beings in my life, and all I have ever achieved and may yet bring forth, everything are for these two young persons who mean the world to me. Your approval means so much not only for me but I know, also for them. Though you are not here with us now, may it give you a measure of gladness that deep gratitude is sent your way not only for your allowing them here, but for all the good things you have done. Higit sa lahat, sa pagbibigay buhay mo sa kanila bilang kanilang Ina. Hinding hindi yun matutumbasan ng kahit sino. THANK YOU!

Steph and GJ, could you please join me here.

In closing, I would like to give a message and quote twice.

My message is this: it will always be an ultimate wish of a parent for their children to be happy. Never mind all the other things, for with resolve, dedication and faith, one can get what he or she wants. But happiness, that is what I want you both to have more than anything else in this world Steph and GJ. If you are happy, everything else follows. As the two of you stand here beside me today, may your hearts be full of it.
Of the quotes, the first is these words by Marianne Williamson: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Then there is this phrase: “Die with memories, not dreams.” With that, I know that someday, when my time comes, as I gaze on spindrift lights just before the final great breath of silence pass from my lips, I know that right after my life’s entirety played before my mind’s-eye, it would rewind itself back to this day─ a day that as much as possible, I really want to last forever. Because today is the day when together with all of you, we paid tribute to the realization of a dream, MY DREAM. And it is a dream whose reality was only made possible because of love, YOUR LOVE…

THANK YOU EVERYONE!

Source: FB